How We Feel

I think it is impossible to understand how other people feel. Yet sometimes we wish "they felt like this" so they would know how we really feel. It's funny, one time my wife had the flu and I was doing what I could to help out and was tired myself, but she felt I "didn't really know how bad she felt" and she later admitted that she wished I would get sick so I would know. Guess what? I did, and she later said how bad she felt. Funny now, kinda mean at the time, but I get it. We want to be validated in how we feel, especially when we feel poorly and can't do things we wish we could. I think a lot of people think others question if they really feel that bad. But I don't think others really do. Like sometimes when you call out of work at a bad time, you wonder if your co-workers think. "Do they think I skipped to get out of work? or I was faking it?". I personally doubt other people think that as much as we think they do. I think me wife often thinks I don't appreciate how she feels when she is pregnant. I think this partially because she told me. Another funny story. One of my pieces of advice for dads-to-be is always to avoid saying "I know how you feel" or "I understand" as a condolense phrase. My wife's response was always "No you don't". So I try to avoid that one. Truth is, I don't, but that's not the point. I just want to show I sympathize. So now I try to say things like "I can't imagine how you must feel" and "I know it must be tough for you". Things like that seem to go over better. I think she just wants me to know how she feels to make her feel "okay" with how she feels. I am already okay with it, it is just hard to show that. I know the other side as well because I often wished she could see all I do in a day, and all my responsibilities with the bills, chores, work, school, etc... For everyone, it comes from the need to be validated in ourselves. Not sure why that is the case.